Did my title get you to LOL or ROTFL? While I usually have to look up acronyms to know what they mean, overall I feel younger then I am, but my old lady does surface now & then. Take the time (a few years ago) when I referred to # as pound and not hashtag - I was ridiculed by 20 and 30 somethings alike.
Some Days I Care, Some Days I Don't
Sure, gone are the days of being able to stay out until 4 am and be perky at work by 9, or being called Miss instead of Ma'am (grr), but as I have gone from mid to late thirties (eek!) I feel like I am finally getting to know me.
It was my birthday and I cried - did I want to?
As far back as I can remember I have cried about 1 thing or another on my actual birthday. One year when I was 8 or 9 my mom made me a homemade cake that was (supposed) to be in the shape of an elephant. Definitely an A for effort, but because it wasn't what I had pictured in my head (perfection) I was upset and was a total jerk to her, embarrassed my 'friends' would make fun of it at the party. How ridiculous is that?!
Then there was 22 or 23 when I over-served myself early in the afternoon/evening before my room-mates and I had a party. Needless to say I was sound asleep before everyone even arrived, and they made sure to mess with me. I woke up, I cried. SO silly. #reformedpartygirl
That brings us this year t-h-i-r-t-y-s-i-x! I knew to expect some sadness to creep up, and sure enough it did a few days before so I yoga-ed it off and was feeling great on the actual day. I spent time with friends at the beach, we hung out on a rooftop - fabulous! But then, I cried.
Why? At the time because my S/O was annoying me, but underneath that there was more.
Not Meeting Expectations
Don't get me wrong, overall I am a happy, grateful, and loving person, but I'm also extremely hard on myself. SO, while I can look back on the past year and be super proud that life is going in new, exciting, and rewarding directions (mostly yoga related=) There is still a gnawing that I have somehow stopped short of some wish/dream/hope I'm not even sure I ever had. You know... husband, white picket fence 2.5 kids, etc.
While I have never thought of myself as a traditional person, as I get older I realize I crave and work towards stability. Feeling grounded instills confidence in me that no matter where I go or what I do I will be loved by my friends and family. Trust me, this has been tested time again & continues to ring true.
Root To Rise (a.k.a. how this ties to Yoga)
You may have heard this phrase in a Yoga class - but what does it mean? For the purposes of asana (poses) it is referring to the idea that the more 'rooted' we are in a pose, they more stable it will feel in our body. Think about it, if you are truly rooted through your feet in mountain pose, you are going to be able to lift and stretch your entire body up to the sky more then if you are sinking into your heels or rolling onto the balls of your feet.
Sometimes I think 'if only' I had gone here, done that differently, lived here, etc. I would be at a place in life where I would l somehow look/feel/be better. When in reality I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be. With plenty of friends, family and fellow yogis around me to laugh with, cry with, and most importantly - create meaningful memories with.
